Dear (Mother) Nature,
We respectfully write to you regarding the current state of weather patterns across the greater Midwest. Don’t worry about the rest of the U.S., you’ve already done enough for them. Because let’s be honest here for a moment: you kind of screwed us in terms of landscape. All we have are corn fields, evergreen trees and some lake water to hold us over. Look at the rest of them with their oceans and beaches and mountains and deserts. LIKE WE EVEN WANT ANY OF THAT BEAUTIFUL GRANDEUR!
Let’s wrap this up before I start sweating. Here’s the deal:
We get it. You’re all powerful, all mighty, all righteous and all over my social media feed. We surrender to you, O’ sweet and sensitive Mother! Now give us what is owed to us (warmth through the Sun) and we won’t have to get physical. Or in your case, environmental.
EVER HEARD OF THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT!? That’s what I thought.
Best Regards,
The Human Race
Now that we got that out of the way and you just wasted a couple minutes (depending on your reading speed) of your precious time reading a personal letter to a personified spirit (what is this, Pocahontas?), here’s ten songs to lift you out of that miserable excuse of existence you call life.
1. Progressive trance at it’s finest. When will somebody pick up on Audien?
2. DAFT PUNK. DAFT PUNK. PAFT DUNK. DJ HANSEL.
3. Did someone say, Dillon Francis? No? Nobody? Man, I gotta get some fuckin’ friends…
4. Sadly, I can’t take credit for discovering Electrocisum. He was featured here:
5. Dash Berlin, it’s been too long. What a return to the throne.
6. Can Michael Woods produce a bad song? Is he capable? I don’t think so, and I don’t care what you think. So there.
7. It will be interesting to hear the feedback on Tiesto’s latest track. Can you say, mainstream? /ˈmeɪnˌstriːm/ There, you said it! Way to go! +1 gold star.
8. 6 FINGERS has 366 (now maybe 367?) SoundCloud followers. That’s a disgrace.
9. Kill Paris has a new album coming out, and you will find it here. SO COME BACK! Please. I’m so cold and lonely in this meat cellar.
10. This last song is for all you acid trippers out there. Or anyone that likes psychedelic music. Except hippies. Or liars. Or hippy liars.
Rager Onions 